We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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