Those balls look pretty dangerous.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
