Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize