so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Dignity is for republicans.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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