I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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