I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
