i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
