You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
