I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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