Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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