youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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