Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
