I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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