Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
It's rum buckets o'clock
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize