I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize