the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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