Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
