you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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