Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
