He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
