its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
