The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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