I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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