"it" just moved
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
