One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
