My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
My balls are so social today.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
