ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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