So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
