I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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