he wants to bone in the snuggie
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
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