She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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