Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
