well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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