who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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