I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize
