i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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