I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
