Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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