so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize
