We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
