worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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