I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
