Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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