maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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