It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
