I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
