ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
