Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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