I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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