Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize