I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
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juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
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