Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
