He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
