Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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