girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize