i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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