So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
