butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
