I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
