Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
