New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
