i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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