Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am available for nakedness
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize