So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
