Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
