Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
is that a dick in a sweater?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
