How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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