Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
