I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
