Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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